Simon Says Part 3

Simon: Someday I'll be old like Mama, with big legs!

Daddy: Simon, please leave Mama alone while she's going potty.  She needs privacy.
Simon: Oh ok sure.  [opens the bathroom door and yells in] Mama, do you need privacy??

Simon: Where were you, Daddy?
Daddy: I was upstairs, trying to put Lillian to sleep
Simon: [hears Lillian, still upstairs, start to cry again] Oh, that's ok Daddy.  Keep trying, you'll get better.

Daddy: This summer when it gets hot you can play in the sprinkler again
Simon: [confused] What is a sprinkler?
Daddy: Oh you don't remember?  It's a hose that sprays water in the backyard, and you can run around in it outside
Simon: [suddenly very excited] Can... can I pee in it??

Simon: I have to go potty

Daddy: Ok, we'll be home soon so you need to hold it.

Simon: Ok [grabs his crotch]

Daddy: You don't need to actually hold it with your hand, just please don't go to the bathroom in your pants

Simon: [looking confused] But... I don't have a bathroom in my pants!

Simon: Let's play with the doctor kit! You can be the doctor

Daddy: Why don't you be the doctor? 

Simon: Because I'm not a believable doctor

Simon: I think farts are just poops talking

Simon: My nose is like a chip... it is crunchy

Daddy: Simon, today we're going to go walk around in the woods.  Does that sound fun?

Simon: [thinks for a minute] Ok but can we milk a cow there?

Daddy: Um, I don't think will be a cow, but we might see some other animals

Simon: Well I think we should keep walking until we find a cow

Simon: Can we watch another one, just because you love me?